Catch-22

Dear Woman

Some of you can be so loving, nary asking for anything in return. And others ask that you love them, give them all your free time and then cut your heart out. Sadly there is little gray area for middle-of-the-road views on this.

I don't understand it. Women can be the most loving, the most nurturing and caring creatures on Earth. And at the same they can be some of the most cruel and vicious. Why is that? What makes this an even more weird paradox, is that there are some of you out there that can be both. That's a bit of a head-scratcher.

Anyway, I sent of for an instruction manual from Sears for a Craftsman Riding Lawnmower. I figure if there is anything that is cool to ride, and yet entirely able of chewing a man's ass out all day long, and requires maintenence to use properly it would be Woman, then the next best thing would be a riding lawnmower. We'll see if Sears got it right or not. I'll let you know how it goes.

With love and affection-
-Man

Dear Women

This is an open letter to those with no Y chromisoms:

Dear Women:

What the fuck is wrong with all of you? You ask for honesty and yet you yourself are unable to give it in return. You ask for love, and yet when given you recoil. You ask for someone accessable, and yet you desire badboys with emotional problems. You are all crazy and fucked in the head.

Love
Man